Summertime sadness.

There is only one thing about Summer that's sad, and that's the fact that there is no new episodes and series to watch. It totally works out with my "out of the house at all times anyways"-kinda schedule I have going on in the Summer, but around Christmas it's the same kind of shit going on with no new episodes, and it's not working out with my "not fucking leaving this apartment in this cold ass weather"-schedule at all.

But you know me, I'm normally not big on complaining, and normally I have a few favorite series to rewatch, but I have rewatched it all now and there is also no new episodes coming any time soon. 

Here the other day I had a 30 minutes staring competition with the wall in hopelessness, that almost ended in a small depression, but I finally remembered that I have seen multiple GIF's from Keeping up with the Kardashians, that are hilarious, so I though it was worth the try. 

 Let just say I'm still open for suggestions for a new series to watch.

They tried to bury us, not knowing that we are seeds

People have tried to fuck me over for years. They have been mean. They have judged. They have told me what I could and couldn't do. I worked even harder to get around the rules. Or just ignored them. Did a lot of that actually. They tried to keep my spirit down, but only managed to fuel my fire even more. Fucking noobs.

I stopped caring somewhere along the road what people thought and said about me, but I used to be pretty stubborn, so anything you told me I couldn't do, I did. Like that one time when I was around 7, and my cousin told me I couldn't stand on that thin ice on the lake we were at.

You didn't have to be a scientist to understand that no one over 2 kilos could stand there, but he told me I could not stand there and I wanted to prove him wrong. Ok, so I was only standing with one foot on the thin ice first, to show him that I could in fact stand there. But when he told me one foot didn't count, I voluntary went through the ice, just to prove a point. I almost drowned in order to prove a point. No one tells me what I can and cannot do.

No one can ever tell me what to do. But still, something tells me that I need to find a bra if I'm ever going out today.

Haters can’t see me, but them bitches still looking for me

Today I'm going out on an adventure, and I will do my part in the effort to change the world for the better. Fight evil with good, and hate with love. Be kind and polite to everyone, not because they are nice, but because you are.

This is this year's Christmas Card, stop hating please, that's all I want for Christmas this year or any year.

Smart has the plans, stupid has the stories.

"We're young. We’re supposed to drink too much. We're supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other's brains out. We were designed to party. We owe it to ourselves to party hard. We owe it to each other. This is it. This is our time. So a few of us will overdose, or go mental. Charles Darwin said you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. That's what it's about - breaking eggs - by eggs, I mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of class As."



"If you could see yourselves... We had it all. We have fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful... We're screw-ups. I plan on staying a screw-up until my late twenties, or maybe even my early thirties. And I will shag my own mum before I let her.... or anyone else take that away from me!" -Nathan Young

Some wizdom words from my dear Nathan, to all of you crazy bastards that read my blog. Merry Christmas

Have a very Happy Tropical Christmas

I seriously just closed my eye's for a second sometime in September aaand it's Christmas again. How the fuck did this happen?

I'm just joking, this is how Christmas happens to me every year. A metaphorically and very unexpected slap in the face. And in Malta it's really bad, because there is no snow to let me know that time's up. We have Christmas song's playing loud in the streets 24/7, but it's also 20'C degrees and sun most days. My brain gets totally confused, and so I end up with alcoholic Christmas presents for everyone. It's bailey's and I just bought it at the supermarket. Surprise motherfucker.

Today is actually the day we normally celebrate Christmas in Norway. and I am working. It isn't that bad come to think of it, internet connection is working, I have all my limbs attached and I can chose my own music to listen to, so what's not to be grateful for? I heard Christmas is about the little things and being grateful and shit so I'm trying that this year.

We even got €15 at work for food since we had to work on Christmas, which in my case means all-you-can-eat at Mc Donalds. I can be grateful for that.

Tell me I'm awake, Paradise awaits.

Been out on that open road. Youtube surfing again. Found this Channel(s?), and so far, every song they posted has been added to my favorites. So here you go, my three new favorites on Youtube:

Dr. Dre - The Next Episode (San Holo Remix)

I remember back in the days, 2010 to be specific, when "The Next Episode" by Dre and Snoop fucked everyone's ears over everywhere you went. I thought I would never listen to this song twice in a row voluntary ever again, but guess I was wrong. Thank God for good remixes, and thank God for Youtube Channels like these one. And thank God for that part after 1:30.

ZHU - Paradise Awaits (Part 2 Ft. Goldlink)

ZHU is my favorite whatever it is. This song was actually the song that made me listen to all the other ones, so some cred is in it's right place. The beat is insane, but the singing is a beau as well. "I'm born with the mighty sin. Walking around just talking my shit". And if the song wasn't awesome enough, they casually added a "Thong Song" verse at the end that totally made me admit I liked it. Never happened before. Sober.

Sirena - Chemicals (Addal Remix)

These lyrics combined with this chill beat is so beautiful my soul hurts. I love this kind of music.
I'm a sucker for anything this chill actually. Anything except the weather. 

Let me travel,
Feed my restless soul
Let’s go.
Suffocate the our fear,
and release ourselves my dear.

Story of my life.

Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable

What is Art? What is the definition of Art? Is anything you call Art, really Art? What is really a definition? There is so many questions but most important; Does it fucking matter?

No. Of course it doesn't fucking matter. Art isn't about definitions, people's opinions, right or wrong. You cannot point at someone and say "Your doing Art wrong". Fuck you if you think you can. It's like saying that someone exist in the wrong way. What I love most about Art, is that there is no rules. There is no right or wrong. Just do what the fuck you want to do.


I love messy art. Complicated and/or all over the place. I love how interesting it looks. But simplicity can be nice too, because one of the things I love the most is contrasts. Differences. And purple. I fucking love purple.
Contrast's tho. It doesn't have to be light/dark contrast, it just have to be something completely different put together. Like old paintings and rap lyrics for example. Or snapbacks and high heels. I love contrast's in almost every aspect of life. I love how the differences compliment each other, and they often give you a better perspective as well. It actually comes very close to comparing things to each other, but you don't want them to be the same, you appreciate the differences instead. And that's what I love about it.

Art can make you perceive things differently. See them in a new light. Make you rethink something that you were sure of before. It's like having a friendly discussion with yourself. A picture says more than a thousand words, and that's why we can express our self through it so well. You can say it all but at the same time say nothing. Silent noise. 
Art and I have a lot in common. We don't have to be anything. We should be a few things, but we don't have to anything.

Also, Fuck the rules.

No matter where life takes me, you find me with a smile

Pursuit to be happy only laughing like a child.

Was in Norway from Tuesday till Yesterday. When I got there it was -10 C, so naturally I've been fucking freezing ever since. I mean, I've been wearing all my favorite pants at once, but even with three layers it gets cold. It was actually so cold that on my way home, I was wearing so much clothes, that my suitcase was way too empty, and so two of my sculls crushed. Because I bought three sculls, one in cobber, one in gold and one silver one. And two of them is crushed. Fuck me.

But Norway was nice anyways. It's a kind of nostalgic, especially when they only play songs that are 4 years old on the radio. Feels like I never even left. So that's what I've been doing for four days basically. Singing "Call me maybe" loud in the car with my mom. And visiting my grandma.

And hoarded caviar at the supermarket. Because in Norway we have caviar on a tube, like you do with mayo. And I got five of those. Happy as fuck. And I even have super glue for the sculls. Life is good. AND I finally found my camera. Life is awesome, just wait and see. I will have proof.

But not right now. Too busy smiling and laughing, and after the day I had yesterday, I'll be sleeping a lot too.

Happy Wiz Khalifa Day.

I might have been yesterday, and I might not have heard about it till now, but this is something I will seriously celebrate annually. Happy Wiz Khalifa day erryone. Here is the Wiz Khalifa song I've heard most on repeat recently.

I had so much champagne up in the club

And I ain’t come up here and I ain’t looking for love

I’mma leave all my problems out on the floor

I’mma drink so much that I can’t make it home

So would you take me home?

And guess when I heard that when I was back home

Just when I needed it the most, adventure came along and announced it's attendance next week. I'm thrilled. Actually all of next week is going to be adventurous so naturally I'm excited as fuck. Starting with my birthday on Monday and then I'm going to Norway for a few days after that.

It's only going to be a hurricane visit, you know when you just go there and fuck shit up for a few days and then leave, before even realizing that you were there in the first place. I guess I wont be fucking shit up so badly as I would of liked, as I'm only going to visit some family and friends, but I will not settle for anything less than fucking some shit up.

Will in the meantime consider if I should use all of my quota of fuckery before I go home, as my birthday actually presents a valid opportunity for this. 

I have reevaluated the case now and I will for sure fuck things up before I go to Norway instead of doing it over there. Norway is a rather terrible place to fuck shit up actually, when I come to think about it.

Christmas party today will also do. Let's fuck this shit right in the pussy.

You's a sexy motherfucker, introduce me to your mother

No, I don't really want to meet your mother or anything, it's just the lyrics to one of my favorite song's. And if I could ever chose a made up world to live in, it would have easily been this music video. Cause I'm a maniac for this song and this video and Miami beach and old school roller-skates and Polaroids and neon combined with tanned skin and gold and shit. 

And not to talk about the lyrics. They are super simple like all party lyrics should be, but they are so direct and dirrrrty and thirsty and it just works out so well. They even remixed La Roux's Bulletproof and it is one of the best remixes I've ever heard. I hated the original and adore the remix. Hyper crush, hype as fuuuuck.

"She says she doesn't like coke, she likes the way it smells. I told the bitch she was crazy before she went to jail."

Hyper Crush - Sex and Drugs Lyrics

And then there is this video, and song, which is probably my favorite anything. It's called "Fingers up" and is basically about not giving a fuck and then putting your fingers up. It's the most relevant song I can think of, so, watch it. 

It's all I've got to keep myself sane baby, so I ride, I just ride.

If you don't make the time working on the life you want, you'll end up spending a lot of time dealing with the life you don't want.

I want a life where I can feel free. I need it. It's my addiction and I'm always looking for a fix. I am not joking. Not wearing a bra is even good enough sometimes. Because there is nothing that instantly feels more like freedom than letting your titties out after keeping them locked up in boob-prison all day.

But there is nothing quite liberating as traveling places. New places. Doesn't matter if it's by foot, car, bus, train. As long as I am going where I feel like going, and as long as its exciting, it's good enough for me. I actually go on adventures all the time. It's my favorite travel method, and I will probably do it forever if I can.

It doesn't even have to be a new place. You can totally explore a place you have been to before. The key is curiosity. Because traveling without curiosity isn't much of an adventure if you ask me. Not a fun one at least.

But for me it's also a lot about cutting ties. Leaving. It makes me feel free. I never get too attached to something, because in the end all you have is you. And you don't need anything more than that. That's what real freedom is for me. Not being depended on anything but yourself.

I need a new adventure soon. 

If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.

I had a dream that I was fine, I wasn't crazy, I was divine

When I finished work yesterday morning, I swear I was just planning to buy a camera charger, but then the stores didn't open for the next 30 minutes, so I had to wait. While I waited I did some window shopping and quickly ended up outside River Island. They had a tee that said "N° one cares".  Fuck yes, on the contrary to popular beliefs I can wait patiently. Or just wait. I can do that. Totally.

After waiting 25 minutes in order to buy this tee shirt, I soon realized I did. Care that is. But it does actually say that. "Number one cares". Not "No one cares". I am number one, and I care. When we are visiting this topic however, I must really insist that I don't care that much. Not about other people, and especially their opinion. OK, so I have a lot of empathy and I care about people's well-being, but not what they think of me.

However, when it comes to clothes it's a whole different story. I care. A lot. I will not wait around for anyone, but I will definitely wait for clothes. If there is no other option that is.

Also I care about Lana Del Ray. Not her opinions, but rather her music making ability. She wrote in one of her songs that she once dreamed about being a beautiful poet, and I can not think of a poet I enjoy more. She made a new song again, and it is totally my new favorite.

I hope your day is as nice as your butt

Today I'm wearing all black outfit, including uggs and over-knee socks and so naturally I am in a great fucking mood. Clothes makes me happy, man. Fuck it. I don't care that the coffee machine broke on the start of my nightshift, or that my apartment is cold as shit all the time because, ehm, knee socks and favorite beanie right now. OK, so I am going to do something about the apartment being cold as shit part, as soon as I find someone who can sell me a heater, but that's actually way irrelevant to my original point. 

I should of taken a picture of this incredible all black outfit, posted it here with the caption "today's outfit" so that I could really show you guys instead of describing it but HEY what fun would that be. The blog needs text too. And I rather want to post pictures like these. 

Dear Santa. Please define good.

Because I am all confused over here and seeing there's only 21 days till Christmas and 13 days till my Birthday, I'm thinking I need some clarification right about now. What if I don't deserve any presents at all? Or what if I do? Will it change the fact that I never receive more than 1 or 2 presents every year anyways? I am not even kidding you. I've mostly bought all of my presents myself the last few years. Since I moved to Malta, Christmas and Birthday presents has been rather non-existent. Or super symbolical. Or money. Or given to me in April. Because that's what you get when you live abroad alone I guess.

But it clearly won't stop me in telling you what I want for Christmas, so here it goes:

I want a Gold Watch 

so I can manage time and space at any point of the day, and don't have to ask Danielle what time it is 50 times every day. Also because there is probably nothing as classy and stylish as a gold watch. Seriously. How come a gold watch is all I need and at the same time the only thing I don't have? Scary.

A Polaroid camera 

so that I can keep my memories, even when I lose the Camera. And the photo's comes out so cool. And they kinda exists as they are on paper and not on a phone. I love this because I can't really have/keep a phone but I still want to take a lot of random and meaningless photos to keep.

Purrple hair. 

Any one who can get me this and they'll be my favourite friend/whatever you are to me. For ever. Especially if you can make it a surprise present. And if so, I want this ish color:

A Trip somewhere. 

Because I hate losing things people get me, so all things that only lasts temporary is great, like a trip or an experience or something you're not supposed to keep forever.

Or a Tattoo. 

Because if I just told you I like temporary things I also mean that I like things that are permanent. Which is the completely opposite of temporarily. I'm leaving you with a wide specter of choices here, please appreciate my efforts.

Anything Mango. 

It's Ze favorite and anything goes. Perfume, body lotion, alcohol, juices, Kool Aid, you name it, I want it. Please.

Something you made yourself.

Because these gifts are the best. 

In case you didn't notice it when I wrote it, my birthday is in 12 days, and it's pretty much the most important day of the year, in case you didn't know. It's also on a Monday this year.

I've felt the ground before and I ain't scared of the fall

Went out yesterday. Got so happy drunk I stopped caring about standing up again. I'm not saying I got so drunk I couldn't stand, it was more like I fell all over the place on purpose because, well, fuck it why not. It was fucking hilarious. I am however saying this happens from time to time. Carefree living. Who the fuck cares. Lets fall on some people. I also have scratches on the middle of my back. Fell on a fusbal table. Started to bleed and stuff. People tend to catch me before it goes so far, but it's OK.  I ain't scared of the fall.

 I fucking love the weeknd

I Always wanted to be a gangsta

I have now listened to this song 815 times in a row, and I am not stopping now. I am in a great fucking mood today, all thanks to this song. I always wanted to be a gangsta, and I just love it when someone makes music with lyrics that fit perfectly to how you are feeling and stuff. Thank you mr. Benassi, this is my new favorite song.

As far back as I can remember, Benny Benassi always had a way of making me smile, and then become fucking stoked, and then be compelled to dance a little. Or a lot. Or headbang till I'm dizzy and have to sit down.

Find what you love and let it kill you. -Bukowski

 As I've probably mentioned before, there is absolutely nothing to do in Malta now that Winter has arrived. Other than our beloved internet of course(and the occasional shopping or drinking). While there's nothing that pleases me more than clothes and shopping, surfing on my favorite store's facebook page actually got me a bit depressed.

There is just so many things I want to keep for my self. Not just look at. Fuck. Where is my Norwegian Oil money when I need it?

But love is not about possession, it's about appreciation. It's just that I appreciate this so much more when the clothes are hanging in my closet(or even lying on my floor), rather than being on the internet or in this case at Tally Weijl.

I have a feeling I will sacrifice all my food money to go shopping tomorrow. If I have any money at all that is. 

Then I'm spinnin' Spinnin' Spinnin' while my hands up

I now know what I'm going to do when I'm winter-stuck in my apartment the next few months. 

And just to clarify, the chances of me actually making a video like this of my own, is a lot smaller than me being stuck watching this video on repeat till April. See you never.

If you don't give a fuck, put your fingers up.

I am in a fucking bad mood right now, for what ever reason, and I have no idea how that happened. I am normally in a great mood,, especially on Fridays, but today just won't roll with me. I have desperately been playing feel good music and party songs the last hours, in hopes that the Friday feels would show up to the party, but for now it's been a no show. And it's making me more upset.

It might be because I don't have any short term goals at the moment, and it makes me feel like my life doesn't have a reason or meaning. I know this sounds a bit weird, but in summer I can at least have "Gettning Tan" as a goal, and I am satisfied with that, but I seriously can't sit here without any goals to reach.

But it may also be the fact that I got a tax "return" today, and have to pay €800 before the year ends.

Fuck this shit.

Kill them with kindness

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.

Even tho I prefer it, being super tolerant towards all people, all the time, is fucking hard. It's so hard because a lot of people aren't very deserving of the kindness you are giving them. And some people don't even deserve it at all. Some people are so rude and mean it's almost fucking up my wish to treat everyone with kindness. But have you ever thought about the fact that, being upset because of someone else, is just like punishing yourself because of someone else's stupidity. I will not do it.

“It was better for me when I could imagine greatness in others, even if it wasn't always there.” -Bukowski

This quote changed my life. I started imagining everyone being the mother Theresa of our generation, and its working out great. Seriously, if you expect people to be rude and unpleasant, they will be for sure, but luckily it works the other way around too. Just imagine that all people are really nice, and if you don't give them the opportunity to ruin that picture you have of them, you will be great. Or at least in a better mood.

Bitch don't kill my vibe

Today I read an article about a guy who went to Mexico to kill himself, and it was actually really great. So great actually, that everyone should try it. Not the killing yourself part, but the rest.

"Went to Mexico to buy barbiturates for a humane and peaceful death.

Decided that if I was gonna die anyway I might as well fuck a prostitute before it was all over. After that a cab driver offered to sell me cocaine. One thing lead to another, and I got a room above a whore house equipped with a heart shaped bed, a stripper pole, and a hot tub.

Spent a full week snorting coke off tits, popping pain meds, drinking tequila, eating handfuls of Viagra to fight the whiskey/coke dick, and had three FFM threesomes.

Somewhere in the midst of my coke-fueled orgy I decide life wasn’t so bad after all."

Also, South Park made a alcohol commercial you should also see. 

We're all just traveling through time together

Or alone. I just traveled 3 days in no time at all. Actually it felt more like 40 minutes. That's what happens when you sleep through all of it. Ooops. That wasn't really on purpose.

During these three days I've been asleep more than awake. I was only awake for about 20 out of 72 possible hours, and I was drunk for at least 6 out of those. What can I say, I woke up, realized I wasn't going to work, and then allowed my self to get back to sleep.

It was actually really relaxing and I've been dreaming of sun light, palms trees, new cars, yachts, endless horizons, flashing lights, sunsets, sunglasses, pools, summer, shopping, new clothes and let me tell you something. I would of easily given my arm or a few fingers to have the life in the pictures under.

I'm a dreamer and when I wake, you can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take.

I got 99 problems and they all bitches

Just kidding, no bitches in sight. All my problems right now revolve around not being able to listen to this song enough this weekend, and it's not even close to being 99.

I don't really do problems. Or bitches. At least not in the weekend.

All Black is the new black.

If all black outfits are boring, then you're not doing it right.

Who goes out on Mondays?

I do, I do, I do.  No seriously. I'm off work at 8 am, Monday morning, after doing 6 night shifts in a row. I now have 3 days off, aka weekend(?). And if I'm not going out tonight I'm afraid I might lose my shit. I need to dance. Now.

It might be a little empty out compared to other nights, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. It also means you get free drinks for going into bars, and if there's anything I love, it's this concept. It's so far from what I know from Norway, where you can't get into the club if you're too drunk, you also have to pay at the door, and then pay way too much to get something to drink. And then here you get free alcohol to go inside the bar. It's fucking amazing.

What's also fucking amazing is this top I bought- not to mention the guy on it. Eminem is my hero. And yeah, I will continue posting web camera photos until I get a new camera or phone, so you guys can suffer with me. Sharing is caring, and I've heard sharing your problems is a good thing.

I would even share my weekend with you if I could. Like who wouldn't like to start Monday with another weekend.

2015

I hate planning. It's the worst thing ever. The future is unpredictable and you should let it stay that way instead of trying to tame it and deciding how it will turn out. Embrace the uncertainty. Don't fight it.

And normally, I plan not to plan, but have you ever heard of a "perfect week"? Where you are supposed to fuck a new person every day for a week? I have. So I decided to do my own version of it, and pull a perfect year. I'm not saying I'm going to fuck 365 guys in a row, because that wouldn't be my definition of a perfect year, but 15 is my favorite number, so I decided a little while ago that 2015 would be fucking insane. A perfect year. 

So for the first time since a long while, I'm making plans. It mostly consist of being happy all the time, but also I'm also making a event calender. I have missed two or three strawberry festivals in Malta already, and I'm not doing that shit again. I will for once in my life be prepared. At least for those things that have a date set already. Fuck yes March 17th and August 10th.

Good Morning

I got of work at 8 yesterday morning, and instead of going home to sleep like any sane person would do after working the night shift, I wanted to get some shit done. The only thing is that no stores or banks or anything is open at 8, except Mc Donalds. So I bought breakfast for my Danielle and went and woke her up. And man, I wish I had chill mornings like that all the time.

There's nothing like living with your best friend, and then moving apart. You are still kinda a part of the herd, but it's actually cozy if you do breakfast together, and not the usual "I hate you less the more coffee I drink"-mood everyone seems to be in in the morning.

When I had followed Danielle to work, I went over to another friends house, and woke them up as well. Because if I'm not sleeping, then no one is. 

On my way over there I also bought some things I have been needing. Like a jacket and socks. Cause I had neither. And to be honest, Malta has only two seasons. It's either Summer or not Summer, and now its definitely not Summer. It's is however time for me to move into my uggs and winter jacket, so see you all next year around April. I'm going hibernating now. Like litterary now. Here and now. Bye.

I'm just kidding. Today is the day after Halloween, and it's also Saturday. That means there will be a lot of fun walks of shame(or victory laps if you want) today, so I think I will stay out a little today as well.

Yes I've been good since Thursday

And yes, I know it's just Friday morning. Anyways. I am totally into making new words or descriptions for things, like a way to put something into perspective or to add a little humor to it. That's why I used to call R'n'B "baby making music" for the longest time. Cause that's what it is. Was. Now I've been listening to The Weeknd for a year, and suddenly realize that this dude owns this genre of music.

I don't know if it's his voice or his lyrics but his songs are dirrrty man. In a fucking sensual way. It's really confusing actually, but a good kind of confusing. At least its good to finally find someone with as many and as serious commitment issues as I have.

Anyways, I made a list of my personal favorites and just to be said, I have a serious issue with committing to the order of this list, so take the numbers with a grain of salt please.

1. Wicked Games - HugLife Remix

Ok, so the original is great, but this remix is fucking ridiculously good.

2. Next

"She pop that pussy on a Monday. She never falls in love. Baby, who you callin' soft? 
Don't make me smoke up all your kush. Don't make me pop your cheap ass pills. 
I used to do this for the thrill" 

3. Beyonce - Drunk in Love - The Weeknd Remix

So I didn't like the beyonce version that much, but the song is great, and this dude kills it.

4. Often - Kygo Remix

"Ask me if I do this every day, I said "Often""

5. High For This

The original is the shit, but I will also advise you to listen to the Elle Golding remix as she does it perfectly.

6. The Fall.

"Mama, I understand why you're mad

And it hurts to accept what I am

And how I live

And what I do

But I've been good since Thursday

Yes I've been good since Thursday"

Free the nipple

I saw this video today, and you need to see it too. It's a whole different alternative to Bitcoins, and its called Titcoins. Seriously, you can pay for things using your tits. Unfortunately for me, I'm living in Malta, where it's illegal to show your tits in public, or even on your balcony, so this could turn out to be a bigger hassle than it's worth. Or?

I for one think this is some genius next level shit, and it's even charitable. I mean come on, it's just Tits. Every female has them, and even some dudes has them too. So your tits aren't that special.. Dudes however can share the love anyways, and it doesn't matter if they have a chest or man boobs, they can basically just flash all of it at any time. So what's the real difference? OK, so female boobs are often thought of as something sex related. But it's not really, and it doesn't have to be all the time. I can not find any bad aspect of boobs, so why should they be illegal?

I was almost arrested back in 2012 for freeing my nipples. Totally a really cool story I'll tell you later.

The Force is strong with this one.

Halloween is right around the corner and the big question is what to be on Halloween. Drunk would be my first choice, but I am working on Halloween and wont be going out. Luckily for me I was celebrating Halloween last week instead, and rocking my best friend's silk bathrobe, running around pretending to be a Jedi master. It was a way impulsive decision as I originally only had the Lightsaber, but I would easily gone naked if that meant I could be a Jedi for Halloween.

But bathrobe works fine too, and people are actually getting what you're dressed as. Which is the most important part of your costume, I guess. I lost my Lightsaber for a few minutes during the night even, and while searching for it I probably looked more like a stripper on lunch break than a knight of the galaxy, so I was lucky to find it again.

Jedi in the streets, Sith in the sheets.

Uh, uh, you can't tell me nothing

The last few days I've been rethinking meat and the whole aspect of vegetarianism. And this will not be a typical post about vegetarianism because I am originally a meat lover. A couple of years ago I could probably only eat meat and nothing else. Like have you had bacon?

But then I started thinking about the fact that we just listen to what society tells us. The Bible says Homosexuality is wrong, but stoning a divorced wife is all in good faith or actually expected punishment for getting divorced. Being born a certain way is wrong but choosing violence is OK. Welcome to religion! The Law tells you that Mariuana is bad for you, but alcohol is great, even tho it's scientifically proven to be the other way around. And most of the people who raised me thought me that it was OK to round up all the animals and kill them so that we can eat their muscles and insides. Fuck that shit man.

I wanna think for myself. I want to make my own decisions and opinions about things and not just let my life be decided by, or be depending on what old people or laws or Religion tells me. I want to do the right thing for me.

So I started thinking about how we eat animals. Why? Because it's proteins in meat and that's good for us and we need that. Now the really confusing thing about this is that the internet tells me that its more proteins in broccoli. So why don't we just eat plants instead, if it's possible to get all the nutrition "we need from meat", in some thing else that didn't use to have eyes, heartbeats and souls?

Also have you seen your teeth? They are not Lion teeth. And your digestive system is also made for plants. Your body isn't made for eating other living things. And if no one ever told you to do anything, how long do you think it would taken you till you killed something living to eat it. Gross.

Vegetarian to the point that I won't give up Mac Donalds, but lets face it, there's not much meat in those burgers anyways. Bonus: Bacon snacks is 100% vegetarian, as it only contains Bacon Flavor. I can totally do this 

Lost and Found

In this moment of darkness, I just want to crawl under a rock and stay there. Or have my phone back. I lost it a week after I bought it, so this is basically why I can't have nice things. I am a destroyer and I don't know what to do with that. What would Jesus do? Flipping tables and chasing people with a whip is actually within the realm of possibilities, but I chose denial instead. I'll pretend everything is OK, till it is, as I always do. In this case I will pretend to have an iphone till I get a new one. Which can take a while. Actually, looking at the previous stats, it will take about 6-7 months.

I did however find my OBEY hoodie, which I thought I'd lost forever. So maybe I'm not just loosing things randomly. Maybe I'm a magician. Maybe the iphone will reappear. Or maybe not.

This is obviously because I'm bad news, I get that. I accept it and I'm moving the fuck on.

If they don't know your dreams, they can't shoot em down

Ever since Wiz Khalifa colored his hair purple, I've started noticing more and more people with purple hair. And I wish I hadn't already bleached the shit out of my hair, so I could color it purple. But my hair has been involuntary ombrè ever since 2013 when I last colored it from black, seeing as no color will stick to half of my hair. So I don't really have a choice.

Purple hair would be my first choice if I had one. 

Tattoo's make my world go around - Part 1

So I've decided that I want to show you all of my tattoo's. It will take some time, so this will come in more pieces. So we'll begin with my first tattoo, and my favorite theme. Anchors and anything sea related. 

My first tattoo's was on my shoulders and they are the main reason why everyone back home knows me as the pirate. Let's just say I went out a lot(more like ran around), and drunk people tend to forget all about your face, but remember tattoo's and the explanation "I'm a Pirate!!".

These are one of the three tattoos I have from Norway(or two out of four, depending on how you count tattoo's), and they are definitely my favorite ones. Not because they are super advanced or cool but just because they were my first, and you kinda don't forget that. I've seen them almost every time I've looked in the mirror the last 3 years, and we are still going strong. 

Then I got the mermaid as number three in Malta, and I also drew the sketch for that one myself. It's on the front side of my upper arm, and I drew the sketch when I first thought of having anchors on my shoulders, and kinda tested it on this mermaid chick. So when I went to get the mermaid tattooed, my tattoo artist insisted that we keep the anchors. So we did. Tattoo inception. Fuck yes.

I got the Pirate ship on my thigh last summer and I actually have a matching one(a dagger and shit) to go on the other thigh, waiting for me at TCB tattoo in Malta. That's where I get tattooed, and you should totally go there as well if you ever have the chance. He who owns the shop drew this tattoo, and he is a God when it comes to old school tattoos.

Also "Those who wander, are not always lost" because I wander a lot. 

Fuck tomorrow we only getting younger

If you're not feeling like making a playlist this weekend, just put this on repeat, like I'm going to.
(or just listen to my playlist that magically just plays after this song)

Time you spend on me, I spend mine on being free

I feel people get used to things too easy. Routines. Traditions. OK, so there's adventurers and dreamers too, but most people. We don't see the opportunities life has to offer and all the great things you can experience in the world, because we don't want to. We don't need to. We get comfortable too easy. I'm saying "we" here because I've done it as well, and will probably do it again.

But I also feel limited, restricted, trapped and forced after a while. That's mostly how I felt living in Norway. Because I knew I was meant for more. Bigger things. And there was no way of getting it back home.

There was too many people who required and expected shit from me. I couldn't deal with it. I couldn't deal with the fact that I wasn't 100% in control of my life. I felt limited to the life that everyone else was living, because everyone was expecting me to live that way too. And I don't really care about people's opinion of me, but there are people who I didn't want to let down or disappoint , who also had the highest expectations.

It came to the point where I did more things people expected me to do, than things I actually wanted to do. I was destructive, and couldn't see further in the future than maybe 5 minutes. I was fucking miserable. And so I pulled a Eric Cartman, said "Screw you guys, I'm going home". And then I went.

And all the expectations, requirements and judgement was only a internet connection away. Let's just say I've been more disconnected than connected the last two years. And to everyone that hates me a little for this, I am really sorry. But I just have to live a little. The way I want to live.

No matter how good she looks, someone is tired of her shit.

I found this hilarious site, which have these Drunk Fashion Meme's. It's pure gold, so I kinda felt obligated to share it with you. 

We can go do what you like, I know you like that.

And we can go ski because I would really like that.

Business as usual

So the last few days I've been on painkillers and have been mentally- not in the right state of mind to write anything decent.

OK, so I'm still on pain killers, but I've gotten more used to it now, and realized that I am never in the right state of mind anyway. Or able to write anything decent for that matter(seriously, if you are in Chrome, try Ctrl+F and search for fuck, and I'll show you exactly how decent I write).

Since last time, I have gotten an iphone, been on adventures, watched OZ, and chilled.

I've also been invited to parties. The Malta kind of parties. Find a reason to celebrate, make a facebook event and invite everyone you know kind of Parties. Right now it was "One week before Thanksgiving-party". And we don't even celebrate thanksgiving in Europe.

Luckily for me, they are also having a Halloween Party now on Friday. A week before Halloween. And that works out perfectly for me, because I won't be able to go out on Halloween this year.

Graffiti Artist Banksy Arrested In London; Identity Revealed

I read this headline today, went on the page, read the whole article, cried a little, and thought, maaaaaan. Fuck this shit. Then I googled it, and found a new article with the headline "Hoax 'Banksy Arrested in London' Story Dupes the Internet Again".

And I am getting super pissed because of this. People write untrue things, either to trick people into reading the fake articles, or to get a certain reaction, most likely: "This is not true, it's actually like this...." following with an explination/their side of the story.

Ok, so it's marketing, and you are actually getting views and everything you hoped for. Con-fucking-gratulations. You suck major dick, and not in the good way. And not to talk about how transparent it makes you look. And stupid. 

If you're making money from being fake on purpose, or acting like you don't know the correct story, or if you're just too stupid to find out the correct story before you speak your mind about it, then you suck. Bad karma's in the mail for you.

I feel people believing in this crap with out a google search before is equally as stupid as all 

of the fake stories and articles and blogposts out there.

Guess that's why they broke and you're so paid.

I love money. I love spending money. I love making money my bitch. 

I don't fucking care, money is money. Paper. I need money for rent and some food. All else is extra and something I don't need. Misunderstand me right tho, I don't need a lot, but I want everything.

But I hate feeling dependent on something, and that goes for cash as well. I must be the biggest quitter I know because of this. I am also a self-proclaimed pirate, and I have no problem with cutting ties, and sailing away. I cannot get addicted, because once I am, I feel like I have been mislead and tricked, I almost feel like it's involuntary and eventho that's not the case, I will quit. I am one determined fucker, and I will quit, solely because I felt too dependent.

So you can say I hate feeling like I need money. I hate feeling like I need anything. I don't want to need. Be needy.

My subconscious will always try to prove that I can survive fine with out money. By using all of it. Investing before it's too late. I normally invest all my money in clothes. And shoes.

I feel that need is a poor feeling/emotion, and I'd rather be poor in your eyes than to feel poor.

Painkillers and Wizdom

It's 10 am and I just rolled out of the bed an hour ago. I would say woke up, but truth be told, I have no idea how long I slept yesterday, or if I even slept at all. It feels like I was trying to sleep for hours in pain, and then I just forgot about the pain for a short while, fell asleep and then woke back up again, in pain. I don't know if we are talking seconds or minutes. But one of those.

The painkillers just started to kick in now, and I feel better than I have in hours. To be spesific, since yesterday around when I got off work. I've been up all night. No demons to fight, only a fucking tooth ache, in form of a wisdom tooth trying to literally fuck up my gums. In theory I'm pretty lucky tho, it's room for the tooth and everything so the tooth itself isn't really the problem. My fucking gums are however. Fuck you. I've been zombie crying continuously for hours. It's been ridiculous and it kind of reminds me of the following GIF.

This was me at 4 last night, and I am not kidding even a little bit.

It's a little swollen still, but I am no longer in pain. Thank God. Or that sweet girl over at the Pharmacy who first asked "Have you ever taken these before?", where I explained to her that I have been ingesting all types of painkillers from Norway for years, and that I never had any negative reaction to any medication, even tho I used to always take 5 or more. I said this to her after I had been crying for hours as well, so she just smiled, handed me a new pack and simply said "These will be perfect".

It says "Max Strength" on them, and also that you should never take more than 3 per day. If you have to judge a book by it's cover, then I would think these are amazetits.

You might not be the one, but you're the one that I desire.

I never used to use/buy/look at white clothes. Ever. I have always had a almost-monogamous relationship with black clothes and used to always go for the black version of any clothing item. This also because I always spill on my clothes, or mess it up somehow. I am the worst at keeping white clothes white, but lately I have bought more and more white, and I am so not done with this.

Because white and gold is pretty much my favorite combo lately, and I cannot get enough. Also tanned skin and white is so beautiful together, I might even try to get tan again. I know it's October, but I also live in Malta, so no problem.

Actually, challenge accepted. 

I can't be what you want from me

Adventure Time Marathon Sunday

“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.” -Frank Zappa.

So since Saturday started with hungover apocalypse, I figured it had to end that way as well. No, I actually went out because it's Malta, and it's always happening something that you can't say no to. On Saturday it was a cute Swedish one that moved to Oslo a while back who came to visit. At 8 in the evening. At a champaign and cigar bar.

I didn't come home until now, and it's Monday. How did that happen? Safe to say you can blame my best friend, Adventure time and her couch. And probably a little bit the bottle prices in bars in Malta as well.

But I am not complaining, not really. I got to spend all of Sunday with my best friend and a newbie who just moved here. Both are from back home and I love that I can actually talk without thinking first, and in my own language. It makes the conversations a bit more random but still direct and honest in a way as we don't have to think about translations and shit. Two of us has been living in Malta for so long, we kinda started talking less Norwegian, and more Swedish and English. And when we actually did speak Norwegian, it was most likely the more common Norwegian. No accent and no special dialect words, because it's easier that way, and because læven, læmp, læl, laug, sjø. Which will make sense if you're from Trondheim, but most probably not if you're from somewhere else, even if that's another part of Norway.

We did actually spend all day watching Adventure Time tho, which was great even tho I was asleep more than awake. But I love that show, And so it got me thinking how I love living my life like a constant adventure, and how I love that I can do whatever I want to all the time, and still have friends that wants to do the same. Like watching cartoons all day.

And also, yolo, your sincerely, I'm still hung over as fuck.

I'm not in love, I'm just on drugs.

Can someone please make a remix of this?
And make it "I'm not in love, I'm just on drugs, please.

When your memory is shit, you have to live for the moment.

My memory has gotten so bad that I can forget specific things selectively, and it's great. I don't have to remember, or even think about things I don't want to, and it is making my life so much easier.

However, it does not work the other way around. I can't remember something on purpose if I really tried. I will remember things I find interesting, but certainly not everything. Not even half. Just random bits and pieces.

So I live for the moment.

And sometimes, that includes forgetting about the last 6 drinks I downed, and then allowing my self to down 6 more. I also do recall doing shots, so maybe it's only my short term memory that's shit. Who know, who cares. I just know that I have never been so hung over in years. 

I couldn't drink anything today, but that didn't stop me from trying. I drank about 1 litre water in total today, and I don't even like water. Unless it's running down my face. In the shower. On purpose(please do not drown because of me). I finally ended up doing some shower yoga (which cannot be a real thing, right?), type fetal position. No I'm serious. It was probably the best possible thing to do right then and there, so if you're hungover right now, or for the next time you're hungover, go take a shower, lie down for a while, and let some water run down your face. At one point I actually was brushing my teeth, while resting the shower head on my own head, closed eyes, and it made me think of the Seal song Amazing. Because that was exactly what it was. 

You're welcome.

Flame on, motherfuckers

I love these people

Open Letter to Machine Gun Kelly

Dear Future husband of mine,

This is my first open letter, so I'm not really sure how this goes. Actually come to think of it, I can't seem to remember writing anyone a letter ever. But then again, I don't really text either. Anyways, I'll make it short and to the point. I'll easily suck your dragon balls, call you Goku or even let you call me bitch from time to time. Seriously.

You seem genuinely amazed by simple things in life, and I appreciate that quality in other people, because it's rare as fuck, and it means you're probably a pretty simple person, but the good kind of simple. And not to forget that your dance moves are purely genius, and that's basically all I am looking for in a guy. Add me on facebook please? We have a wedding to plan, like 10 years from now.

I just want a guy with tattoos and snapbacks, is that seriously too much to ask for?
Actually, don't answer that, I haven't seen one in months, so don't break my spirit please

I can't keep myself, and still keep you too

I have been quite emotional the last few days, and I feel a strong need to chill the fuck out right now, and find my inner chill-ism again. I need a spirit quest, a shaman or some spiritual awakening to kickstarting this bitch back up again. OR stop watching all the "These 75 Iconic Photos Will Define The 21st Century So Far" posts I keep stumbling over. They make me ugly cry at work and its not worth it at all.

I actually just need some fucking sleep after doing 8 night shifts after each other. This shit is making be act like a total girl, and I don't really appreciate it at all. It doesn't feel like me, and I actually am looking forward to going back to having the emotional span of a 9 year old again.

However, what I do appreciate is the time off that comes after night shifts. I have 5 days off starting now, so I have all the time in the world to reach my Zen mentality again.

I'll just binge watch Star Wars till I'm back to normal. Problem solved