I've felt the ground before and I ain't scared of the fall

Went out yesterday. Got so happy drunk I stopped caring about standing up again. I'm not saying I got so drunk I couldn't stand, it was more like I fell all over the place on purpose because, well, fuck it why not. It was fucking hilarious. I am however saying this happens from time to time. Carefree living. Who the fuck cares. Lets fall on some people. I also have scratches on the middle of my back. Fell on a fusbal table. Started to bleed and stuff. People tend to catch me before it goes so far, but it's OK.  I ain't scared of the fall.

 I fucking love the weeknd

I Always wanted to be a gangsta

I have now listened to this song 815 times in a row, and I am not stopping now. I am in a great fucking mood today, all thanks to this song. I always wanted to be a gangsta, and I just love it when someone makes music with lyrics that fit perfectly to how you are feeling and stuff. Thank you mr. Benassi, this is my new favorite song.

As far back as I can remember, Benny Benassi always had a way of making me smile, and then become fucking stoked, and then be compelled to dance a little. Or a lot. Or headbang till I'm dizzy and have to sit down.

Find what you love and let it kill you. -Bukowski

 As I've probably mentioned before, there is absolutely nothing to do in Malta now that Winter has arrived. Other than our beloved internet of course(and the occasional shopping or drinking). While there's nothing that pleases me more than clothes and shopping, surfing on my favorite store's facebook page actually got me a bit depressed.

There is just so many things I want to keep for my self. Not just look at. Fuck. Where is my Norwegian Oil money when I need it?

But love is not about possession, it's about appreciation. It's just that I appreciate this so much more when the clothes are hanging in my closet(or even lying on my floor), rather than being on the internet or in this case at Tally Weijl.

I have a feeling I will sacrifice all my food money to go shopping tomorrow. If I have any money at all that is. 

Then I'm spinnin' Spinnin' Spinnin' while my hands up

I now know what I'm going to do when I'm winter-stuck in my apartment the next few months. 

And just to clarify, the chances of me actually making a video like this of my own, is a lot smaller than me being stuck watching this video on repeat till April. See you never.

If you don't give a fuck, put your fingers up.

I am in a fucking bad mood right now, for what ever reason, and I have no idea how that happened. I am normally in a great mood,, especially on Fridays, but today just won't roll with me. I have desperately been playing feel good music and party songs the last hours, in hopes that the Friday feels would show up to the party, but for now it's been a no show. And it's making me more upset.

It might be because I don't have any short term goals at the moment, and it makes me feel like my life doesn't have a reason or meaning. I know this sounds a bit weird, but in summer I can at least have "Gettning Tan" as a goal, and I am satisfied with that, but I seriously can't sit here without any goals to reach.

But it may also be the fact that I got a tax "return" today, and have to pay €800 before the year ends.

Fuck this shit.

Kill them with kindness

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.

Even tho I prefer it, being super tolerant towards all people, all the time, is fucking hard. It's so hard because a lot of people aren't very deserving of the kindness you are giving them. And some people don't even deserve it at all. Some people are so rude and mean it's almost fucking up my wish to treat everyone with kindness. But have you ever thought about the fact that, being upset because of someone else, is just like punishing yourself because of someone else's stupidity. I will not do it.

“It was better for me when I could imagine greatness in others, even if it wasn't always there.” -Bukowski

This quote changed my life. I started imagining everyone being the mother Theresa of our generation, and its working out great. Seriously, if you expect people to be rude and unpleasant, they will be for sure, but luckily it works the other way around too. Just imagine that all people are really nice, and if you don't give them the opportunity to ruin that picture you have of them, you will be great. Or at least in a better mood.

Bitch don't kill my vibe

Today I read an article about a guy who went to Mexico to kill himself, and it was actually really great. So great actually, that everyone should try it. Not the killing yourself part, but the rest.

"Went to Mexico to buy barbiturates for a humane and peaceful death.

Decided that if I was gonna die anyway I might as well fuck a prostitute before it was all over. After that a cab driver offered to sell me cocaine. One thing lead to another, and I got a room above a whore house equipped with a heart shaped bed, a stripper pole, and a hot tub.

Spent a full week snorting coke off tits, popping pain meds, drinking tequila, eating handfuls of Viagra to fight the whiskey/coke dick, and had three FFM threesomes.

Somewhere in the midst of my coke-fueled orgy I decide life wasn’t so bad after all."

Also, South Park made a alcohol commercial you should also see. 

We're all just traveling through time together

Or alone. I just traveled 3 days in no time at all. Actually it felt more like 40 minutes. That's what happens when you sleep through all of it. Ooops. That wasn't really on purpose.

During these three days I've been asleep more than awake. I was only awake for about 20 out of 72 possible hours, and I was drunk for at least 6 out of those. What can I say, I woke up, realized I wasn't going to work, and then allowed my self to get back to sleep.

It was actually really relaxing and I've been dreaming of sun light, palms trees, new cars, yachts, endless horizons, flashing lights, sunsets, sunglasses, pools, summer, shopping, new clothes and let me tell you something. I would of easily given my arm or a few fingers to have the life in the pictures under.

I'm a dreamer and when I wake, you can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take.

I got 99 problems and they all bitches

Just kidding, no bitches in sight. All my problems right now revolve around not being able to listen to this song enough this weekend, and it's not even close to being 99.

I don't really do problems. Or bitches. At least not in the weekend.

All Black is the new black.

If all black outfits are boring, then you're not doing it right.

Who goes out on Mondays?

I do, I do, I do.  No seriously. I'm off work at 8 am, Monday morning, after doing 6 night shifts in a row. I now have 3 days off, aka weekend(?). And if I'm not going out tonight I'm afraid I might lose my shit. I need to dance. Now.

It might be a little empty out compared to other nights, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. It also means you get free drinks for going into bars, and if there's anything I love, it's this concept. It's so far from what I know from Norway, where you can't get into the club if you're too drunk, you also have to pay at the door, and then pay way too much to get something to drink. And then here you get free alcohol to go inside the bar. It's fucking amazing.

What's also fucking amazing is this top I bought- not to mention the guy on it. Eminem is my hero. And yeah, I will continue posting web camera photos until I get a new camera or phone, so you guys can suffer with me. Sharing is caring, and I've heard sharing your problems is a good thing.

I would even share my weekend with you if I could. Like who wouldn't like to start Monday with another weekend.

2015

I hate planning. It's the worst thing ever. The future is unpredictable and you should let it stay that way instead of trying to tame it and deciding how it will turn out. Embrace the uncertainty. Don't fight it.

And normally, I plan not to plan, but have you ever heard of a "perfect week"? Where you are supposed to fuck a new person every day for a week? I have. So I decided to do my own version of it, and pull a perfect year. I'm not saying I'm going to fuck 365 guys in a row, because that wouldn't be my definition of a perfect year, but 15 is my favorite number, so I decided a little while ago that 2015 would be fucking insane. A perfect year. 

So for the first time since a long while, I'm making plans. It mostly consist of being happy all the time, but also I'm also making a event calender. I have missed two or three strawberry festivals in Malta already, and I'm not doing that shit again. I will for once in my life be prepared. At least for those things that have a date set already. Fuck yes March 17th and August 10th.

Good Morning

I got of work at 8 yesterday morning, and instead of going home to sleep like any sane person would do after working the night shift, I wanted to get some shit done. The only thing is that no stores or banks or anything is open at 8, except Mc Donalds. So I bought breakfast for my Danielle and went and woke her up. And man, I wish I had chill mornings like that all the time.

There's nothing like living with your best friend, and then moving apart. You are still kinda a part of the herd, but it's actually cozy if you do breakfast together, and not the usual "I hate you less the more coffee I drink"-mood everyone seems to be in in the morning.

When I had followed Danielle to work, I went over to another friends house, and woke them up as well. Because if I'm not sleeping, then no one is. 

On my way over there I also bought some things I have been needing. Like a jacket and socks. Cause I had neither. And to be honest, Malta has only two seasons. It's either Summer or not Summer, and now its definitely not Summer. It's is however time for me to move into my uggs and winter jacket, so see you all next year around April. I'm going hibernating now. Like litterary now. Here and now. Bye.

I'm just kidding. Today is the day after Halloween, and it's also Saturday. That means there will be a lot of fun walks of shame(or victory laps if you want) today, so I think I will stay out a little today as well.