I used to do this for the thrill

I have no idea which day it is, I have no concept of time in relations to what I'm doing at the moment and I don't even know what I am tattooing on my arm in 16(?) hours. But it doesn't matter at all. And knowing that makes me so happy. Life is pretty much getting back to my kind of normal, and I am finally happy again. Actually I'm feeling great. Things are just magically happening again, and just saying "yes" to most questions are actually getting me fun places. I've missed this so bad and I wish it would never end.

Contained or even controlled chaos is one of my favorite concepts, and I love to be along for the ride. I like to live my life a little messy, as long as it's done in a clean way. Going with the flow. Being impulsive. Going on an everlasting adventure every time you walk out the door.

Lana Del Rey described this feeling I'm having perfectly in the intro of her song Ride:

"I was always an unusual girl. 

My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality; 
just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean...

And if I said I didn't plan for it to turn out this way I'd be lying...

Because I was born to be the other woman.

Who belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone.

Who had nothing, who wanted everything, with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn't even talk about it, and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me."