Now I run the game got the whole world talkin' King Kunta

Kendrick for President.

If you want it let me hear you say "Gimme some more"

People have been telling me all week that "it's soo long since I've seen you!!". Well, how should I put this.. I've been staying at home freezing my butt off, waiting for summer the last 4 months, and it's really nice to see you too, thanks.

I mean, the summer is more of less back now, and so am I. It's been sunny since last week and I've been mostly off work this week, so naturally I've been having shots for breakfast ever since that Jägerbomb Monday morning. Great. Perfect way to start off the summer/daydrinking season.

On Monday I also decided to channel my inner Ke$ha, I mean more than Jägerbombs on a Monday morning, so I colored my hair pink. I really tried (perhaps not so hard,) getting it red, but who the hell cares. It actually got a little orange in the back too, due to the obvious blind zone, but I'm not complaining. I also tried taking a picture of my hair for days now, but failed a little bit as I'm not really that experienced in taking selfies, so please feel free to chose the picture below you hate the least, because all of them are all kinds of blurry, just like this week.

The picture on the left is the only one where I'm not wearing a beanie so you're welcome. That's my "don't really wanna take a picture but doing it all for you anyways"-face. Also the one on the right is when it started to wash out. Pink Ombre for the win.

Even found a drink I've been looking for for the longest time. I've had it a million times when I've been drunk but I can never remember what it's called.. I mean it's the only green drink I know of that's not a frozen mojito, but it's a fucking grasshopper and I don't know how I could ever forget that. But I did. Multiple times.

Here is me and my Grasshopper. I love you and I will never forget you again. This is also why I have a blog. Cause I forget shit all the time.

I have also been drinking green shots, which are my favorite shots, but I don't know what these are called either, as I just have to request "the green shots" whenever I'm buying them. Names are overrated anyways.

But what really defines summer, is the fact that I was able to wear shorts outside for a whole day, and I even bought Mc Donalds for breakfast to celebrate. Summerbody 2015, here I come.

And also, what the fuck is shorts really good for, if not looking like you aren't wearing any.

I'm always fucking childish you knew that when you met me

Just the dancing at 1:40 is worth the watch, but you should seriously consider putting Childish Gambino's music videos on repeat for a while. And he is really smart so you might even learn something.

Ehm, I've been called out a lot of times for claiming everything as my favorite. Like I have about 650 favorite songs, but when people think that's too many, I don't feel it's enough. One of my favorite song's is by Childish Gambino, and it's called Heartbeat, and you have to listen to the Dirty version, because well, it has all the dirty words, which adds up to almost the whole song. And I really like artist's that do that.

"I wish we never fucked, and I mean that. But not really, you say the nastiest shit in bed and it’s fuckin’ awesome"

That feeling that doesn't go away just did

So, I've gotten a few requests to write more about what I'm actually doing, and not just what I'm thinking of, and believe me, I really want to. Only problem is that Malta is boring during the winter, and so am I. But I don't like to disappoint either so here you go;

Got off my 6th and last night shift yesterday morning at 8, and when you are that sleepy, but need to stay awake, I find it most helpful to become something else than sleepy, but even more. Yesterday I chose drunk so around 12 when I was too tired to stay awake at home, I went out daydrinking instead.

The summer is almost ready to return and has been teasing with day drinking weather all yesterday and today. I also have a new partner in crime! He is new to Malta, and since he just got here he's almost as excited as I am, and everyone truly deserves to have someone who is equally as excited as them self's.

Here we are at Havana on a Thursday in February. There is no one out then but we don't give a fuck. We came prepared. Prepared and excited.

Because the thing you really need when going out successfully, is just that, excitement. You simply cannot have fun anywhere without wanting to be there, and wanting to have fun. So be excited. It's all kinds of fun. I mean, I can have fun sitting on a chair.

Until I fall off, then its even more fun. I think actually I have had the most fun on the floor. Unless it's sticky.

Summertime Sadness got nothin on Wintertime FML

You ever heard about the 5 stages of grief? I mean, I've read it, and it's basically the 5 stages of Winter in Malta. At least for me.

1. Denial and Isolation

I went to Medasia Playa's End of summer party alone last year. I mean I found some friends after a bit, but I went there alone.  I think that counts as both denial and isolation, because I was alone for most of it, and can remember thinking "ha-ha summer's not over yet. Amateurs". You can even see that I'm thinking this in the photo I found.

That is my "haha-fucking-amateurs" look. ..Then I seem to recall summer ending a few days after that. Fuck. That probably means I'm the amateur.. 

2 Anger.

I think I had my first rage about the cold somewhere in October already and I think it was only to test if anger could help me feel warmer. I don't really get angry normally and it didn't help with the warmth either, so I gave up on this one pretty quickly.

3 Bargaining.

"Please weather God, if I promise to spend more time outside, can it please be summer again?". 

Yeah, that obviously didn't work, but I was still stuck on this one a while..

4 Depression.

Comes when you realize that winter is inevitable, and you have to live through it all. ALL. OF. IT. This is also when you turn to Vodka.

5 Acceptance.

 After enough Vodka, you'll eventually get to either summer or acceptance. I'm pretty much at this stop now. I am calm, collected and waiting. And perhaps a little drunk. I have accepted the fact that its winter and not summer. And I also accepted that it is still some waiting to do. But it's boring as fuck.

When a Fire Starts to Burn. Right? And it starts to spread

She gon' bring that attitude home

Who don't wanna do nothing, with their life

I don't even know what to write about this song, it's so good. It left me speechless. Speechless and dancing.

You ask me where I been? I've been everywhere

I drive fast, wind in my hair, I push you to the limits 'cause I just don't care

I wish. But I've been sleeping. And listened to Lana Del Ray on repeat. I've been doing that for about 11 days now, maybe even longer. I mean, it's still winter and all, but these past days have been especially wintery, as it has been constantly raining, at least for the parts I've been awake.

It's pretty much still raining but what can you do? I know, let's go shopping with the rest of the money I got this month. Yes. And then I did the only thing you can do in Malta without money. I went out.

Yesterday was a really eventful evening actually. I think I make up for all the adventures I miss when I'm sleeping, and when you only have a few hours in between work to pull off the adventures, well, I have a few pictures that would back up my theory.

I got a free pizza, simply by asking the dude in the pizza shop, theoretically, what I had to do in order to get a free pizza. He got kinda embarrassed when I suggested showing him my boobs, even tho I wouldn't do it for real(it's totally illegal in Malta), but he gave me a pizza anyhow.

I also felt the need to smuggle this piece of pizza into the nightclub so you can actually see inside my jacket that it was indeed pizza there last night. I also have pictures, and this is basically the closes thing I will ever get to kissing photos online.

And I cracked my phone. It was a small crack so no worries, but still. I could say "I'm never taking my phone out with me again", but to be honest this happened in the kitchen after I got back. Also, if you are not having your phone out with you, how will you approve that tag request on that Facebook picture of your butt at 2 AM? I guess we'll never know.

One thing I do know is that I love the free going out part, but to be honest the hangover costs at least a few recovery pizza's the day after as well, and somehow I cannot get free food when I'm sober. I have no idea how that is really working and I am too hungover to figure it out today.

But don't be acting like I need you, cause we poppin' like

I am really fucking sorry that I haven't been blogging lately. Not for your sake perhaps but because that indicates that I've been bored as fuck the last couple of days/weeks. Or, not directly bored, because I strongly believe that only boring people stay bored, but there is nothing happening right now, so I'm basically just lying in bed, waiting for April.

Sorry, I wish my days were a bit more eventful too, but hey, it's low season right now and that's cool. Key word: Cool. Fucking cool as in cold as shit. See you when I'm warm enough to go outside, clothing optional.

Because the thing is- I need to feel free. And free also means being free to wear whatever I want, at all times, which most of the time means nothing at all. When it's this cold all the time, I don't feel very free. I don't feel very free lying in bed next to my heater, and I certainly do not feel very free when I have to wear layers of clothing in order to go outside... Like, I'm I the only one who gets dressed underneath the covers?

I don't even see the point in blogging right now. Like lyfe is good, but boring as shit atm. I sleep, work and sleep some more. That's it. And looking at almost naked people on Tumblr. I'm not sure if that counts as a hobby, but I do that too sometimes. All the time.

I just want to be naked and warm at the same time,
and I don't feel like that's too much to ask for when you live right next to Africa. Seriously dude.

Sometimes I need to be alone, Bitch don't kill my vibe

I never feel lonely when I am alone. I mean I am aware that I am alone, but I don't mind. I like spending time alone. No one complains about the music when I'm playing my new favorite song for the 50th time that day, no one is distraction my thoughts about Pokemon, no one is complaining when I don't speak for hours at the time and I can just be, clothing optional and all.

But even tho I like doing all these things alone, I don't mind when I find a person I can do all these things with. You know, someone to be alone with. A person you can be silent with for hours but still never having an awkward silence with. More like an appreciated silence, or even an expected silence. Someone who you feel comfortable with even in your kitty pyjamas and when you are not in the mood to entertain anyone but yourself. 

One of my best friends is exactly this way, and telepathy is our main form of communication. Not kidding. We can be silent for forever then start laughing out loud of the same thing. She is probably the best person to be alone with and I feel that everyone should have people they can be alone with. Because being alone is great, but being alone with your bestfriend is even better.

Today I'm going to be alone alone, which I am kinda exited about. Also I'm sleeping all day since I'm working nightsshifts this week, and I am even more exited about that. 

I been working too damn hard to let you feel that way boo

Been listening to this cover of Drake's "Days in the West" for days now, and this girl Tinashe is the bomb. She has a song called "Boss" as well, and it has been one of my favorites since I first heard it in 2012, so I am super exited she is making more music now. She is like a little more clean, female version of The Weeknd, and it is working out so well.

Who you think you're talking to

I spent time alone long before I met you

These days lookin' like a dream since I've been on the road

Spendin' all my days on the west side oh

It don't feel the same on the other side no

Story of my life. 

Spendin' all my days on the west side oh

All I want right now. Long dresses, cool tattoos, cats, gold, someone who understands a thing or two about being happy alone, and of course the Sea, the Sea and the Sea.

Better be street if he lookin' at me. I need a soldier.

I've been playing this song for some time now, and fuck yes, this is so spot on. I hate setting requirements for people I would like to date, because there is too many good qualities out there to only date one specific one, but seriously, if you don't know what Odd Future is, then I don't see us dating for that long. Or at all really.

It's not that Tyler the creator is super relevant to my life or anything, but it says something about what kind of person you are. I also need someone that understands me, and with the amount of Rap lyric references I come with, that's pretty hard to do if you're only into Ariana Grande and stuff.. But it also gives me an great indication of your possible reaction to my "gangster rap made me do it"-tattoo.

Like, I haven't got one yet, but I am having one soon, and I would appreciate it if you would get the reference.

And to be honest, if you are only listening to mainstream music, or God forbid actually like Bruno Mars, well, we can be friends an all because I don't judge my friends for their bad taste in music, but you are not seeing me naked. Sorry.

My point is, I haven't been dating for so long that I all of a sudden have super high standards. Feels good. And I want someone more like myself if I'm ever trying this dating thing again. I mean, I'm not even sure if I want to date anyone, but I do know for sure that this person has to at least like Mac Miller, Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg. Like this is a minimum requirement. Bonus points for Biggie, Kendrick and A$AP.

Too long didn't read? It's cool, this GIF pretty much sums it up.

What will be your Space Jam?

This kid.

Don't know what they mean, They're special, just for you.

I instantly like people that draw on themselves. Its like they come with a automatic stamp of approval and it hasn't been wrong so far. So when I found this picture, my first thought was "fuuck, I really have to like this person because she has the most ridiculous drawings on her legs that I've seen ever".

But then I found her page just now and I realized that I've seen a lot of pictures from her studio before, and I tell you, she has so many awesome pictures from her studio. Like can someone get me her life? Because all I really want to do is fool around in a art studio like this one.

But it's not only her studio that's great, her art is breathtaking too. It's like all these women has this intense presence in their expression and its sooo impressive when you can get that in a painting. Like fuuuck. That's hard enough to do in pictures but to paint it? Wow.

I really just want to go home and draw till I'm this good at it. Like see you never. 

I found a new place here. I’m coming down fast.

So I actually started moving today and it feels great to finally move into an apartment which I plan on staying in a while. I want to make my room livable this time because till now, my previous rooms has been the closet I occasionally sleep in. Now I'm getting a much bigger room, so that I can have a king size bed and chill out lounge in my closet. Or actually bed, chill out lounge and closet in my art studio. Boom. I have a good feeling about this apartment.

And I want my money where I can see it - hanging in my closet. And I want my closet on display at all times please.

When it comes to style I've always been torn between two very different ones. First the clean cut and simple black and white.

 But then again I am in love with the simplicity and the shabbiness of an Art studio, so I am predicting a attempt of having both.

And I'm so getting a photo wall right after I buy a Polaroid camera. Or before. We will see how much the printer can take.

Bitch I'm a muthafuckin Martian, I'm a goddamn Goblin.

It's magic Monday today and for all of you that hates Mondays, well how should I put this, Monday probably doesn't like you very much either. And you can also pretty much fuck off if you're going to hate things as simple as days. People who hate insignificant, but still super relevant things like random days of the week can not be trusted as they might just start to hate random stuff with no warning what so ever, and there is nothing more regrettable than hanging out with someone that all of a sudden hates random shit surrounding you.

Mondays can be a fucking great thing if you choose to see it that way. I like Mondays. OK, so its the day that's furthest away from the weekend, so that kinda sucks, but I don't live only for the weekend anymore, so it doesn't really matter that much. Any day can be as good as the best weekend ever if you just choose to see it that way. Believe a little. Make it magical yourself.

And the same goes for anything in life. Who the fuck told you that everything is decided already anyway? Someone smart once said "There is no truth, there is only perception". You decide how your Monday is going to be. No one else can tell you anything different. And if there are people in your life that actually tells you which kind of Monday you're having, then you can decide not to be around this person instead.  Problem solved, because I'm a fucking problem solver.

Anyways, my point being that you can have a Magic Monday if you want to. You can have Magic all the time, if you just want to. Choose to see the world as magic and it will be that, if only just for you.

Everything is Magic, especially pizza.

That's why you see me walk around like nothin's botherin me

Growing up, I used to listen more to Eminem than both my parents combined. I mean my parents are great, and they tried their best and I love them for that, but they didn't make much sense to me when I was younger. I of course didn't really understand much when growing up either, so I see now that it was kinda a hard task to make me understand. But no one would ever explain to me how shit worked, they just called me out on my mistakes and wrong doings. And this isn't just my parents but other kids and teachers and family members too. Simply put, everyone.

I never did anything right growing up, and whether that was on purpose or not, I remember thinking the world was working against me. I used to be bullied a little in middle school. It wasn't so severe as other cases you hear about, but there was a few kids who just could not stand me, and they tried really hard to make my life shit. I even felt bullied by a lot of my teachers, you know the people who are supposed to teach you stuff, and instead just tear you a new one when you can't keep up.

But every time things got so hard that I couldn't deal with it anymore, I just went home, listened to Eminem till I felt tough enough to face my problems and till I felt tougher than the people who was against me. I wore his music and attitude like an armor. So I'm sorry mom, the shit you got later in my childhood was just some Eminem attitude, but I needed that. I needed a hero, so I became one my self. Or at least pretended to be a gangster. It totally worked tho.

Eminem once said "Straighten up little soldier. Stiffen up that upper lip. What you crying about? You got me." 

I took that literally.

More issues than Vogue

I got Statements Clutches on my mind lately and I don't think I can stop just yet. Not any time soon when I come to think about it. Like have you ever tried putting your drawing pad in a normal, non-clutch purse? Yeah, I thought so. There is no other type of purse I can trust with my drawings so naturally I'm eternally grateful for Clutches. And you just have to hold it in your hand, which is nice and easy, but it can also be a problem, especially when going out.

When you are going out with a clutch then you basically have one purse-hand and one alcohol-hand for the rest of the night. You might argue that you can just drink the drink you are holding, and problem solved, you have one hand free again. Only, it's not as simple. Believe me, I do this all the time, drink my drink in 0.5 seconds so I can have a hand free, but people notice this and all of a sudden I have a new drink in my hand. I mean, I'm not complaining, I'm just saying its not optimal dancing with alcohol in your hand. Why? Alcohol all over everything, that's why.

Even found pictures of my two newest clutches, the "I complete me" and the "Whatever" one. The three clutches below are more my equivalent of celebrity crushes. I would totally stalk the gun purse if I knew where to start.

Ask me if I do this every day, I said "Often".

I always find the best party music whenever I'm working the nightshift, I mean, I have been listening to trap the last 5 hours straight, and naturally it's making me wanna go out. Run around a little, drink some shots, have insightful conversations with random girls you meet in the bathroom, make friends with all the bouncers, sing all the rap lyrics out loud and dance till I fall on my butt.

I love it, and now that I cannot go out due to the obvious night shift, I want to do it even more. I need to see some people. But misunderstand me correctly here, I also love staying in and just be drawing for hours too, but I just need some diversity. I feel like I'm both a introvert and an extrovert, in the way that I love to be alone and do my own thing, but I also love to be around a lot of people. Just not at the same time. It's all very confusing to me too, but I just kinda go with it, and see where it takes me.

I think balance is the key in everything you do. Dance all night long and practice yoga the next day. Eat chocolate when your heart wants it and salad when your body needs it. Wear high heels on Saturday and walk barefoot on Sunday. Live high and low. Move and stay still. Embrace all sides of who you are.

Be brave, bold, spontaneous and loud and let that complement your abilities to find silence, patience, modesty and peace. 

Aim for balance.

Now my madness is the only love I let myself embrace.

This video is of Monami Frost, one of the coolest tattoo babe's I know, and she probably has the most epic facial tattoo's I've ever seen on a girl. Her style is also so rad that she has sponsors. Like the Hundreds. Check out her FB-page here.

I always wanted to be a tattoo artist, but the more I think about it, the clearer it gets. I need to be a tattoo artist. I mean, there is a lot of other things I wish to work with later on, but nothing I want more than this. And I'm going to do it this year. I have no idea how to do it, or where to start, but I will figure it out. New years resolution number 3; Become a tattoo artist.

And so I thought I could tell you about one of my favorite tattoo artists. Her name is Sara Fabel and she's the boss. I have been drawing for years but when I discovered her work I was completely mesmerized. What she can do with a pen is magic. She is especially amazing at drawing skeletons, animals, animal skeletons and jewelry, and her style is so clean and perfect.


She is also a God with a tattoo machine, and as far as I've seen, she tattoos herself too. Like a fucking badass. Seriously, she is a huge inspiration to me, and if I'm half the artist she is some day, that would be insane. And did I forget to mention that she is also a model? Because she's not only talented, she is also beautiful as fuck.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Sara Fabel please.