That's why you see me walk around like nothin's botherin me

Growing up, I used to listen more to Eminem than both my parents combined. I mean my parents are great, and they tried their best and I love them for that, but they didn't make much sense to me when I was younger. I of course didn't really understand much when growing up either, so I see now that it was kinda a hard task to make me understand. But no one would ever explain to me how shit worked, they just called me out on my mistakes and wrong doings. And this isn't just my parents but other kids and teachers and family members too. Simply put, everyone.

I never did anything right growing up, and whether that was on purpose or not, I remember thinking the world was working against me. I used to be bullied a little in middle school. It wasn't so severe as other cases you hear about, but there was a few kids who just could not stand me, and they tried really hard to make my life shit. I even felt bullied by a lot of my teachers, you know the people who are supposed to teach you stuff, and instead just tear you a new one when you can't keep up.

But every time things got so hard that I couldn't deal with it anymore, I just went home, listened to Eminem till I felt tough enough to face my problems and till I felt tougher than the people who was against me. I wore his music and attitude like an armor. So I'm sorry mom, the shit you got later in my childhood was just some Eminem attitude, but I needed that. I needed a hero, so I became one my self. Or at least pretended to be a gangster. It totally worked tho.

Eminem once said "Straighten up little soldier. Stiffen up that upper lip. What you crying about? You got me." 

I took that literally.